I don't mind if I do!

I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.  Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.  I watched C-beams glitter in the darkness at Tan Hauser Gate.  All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain.
Time to die.’…

Blade Runner

Giving birth to an idea is like a bolt of lighting cracking through an atmospheric sky…in that split second of a moment, a dynamic idea passes through you as though you are having an out of body experience. It allows you to see the world as though for the first time, or as if you were a visitor from another planet…  These moments are sometimes industrious, sometimes part of  a strange detached humourous view of the world, either way they can offer a practical insight or a new direction.

Sometimes, (if we are lucky) these moments turn into large scale projects, and other times they simply need some form of recognition, like being giving an word, or expression – so that they can be shared with the world and celebrated, or if needed be, stamped out…

This is where I would like to introduce the world to the word and the world of the ‘would-u’.

So what is the ‘would-u’?:-

The “would-u” is a fraction of one….
The “would-u” is an edible entity,
The “would-u” is part of an ancient English social activity (well, of a sort!)
The “would-u” is the last piece of food on the plate.

Please allow me to elaborate;

Take a group of English individuals in a social setting;
apply a selection of nibbles on a plate, and watch each and every morsel (but one) be devoured.
Yes, all but one…
As the nibbles gets less and less, there will be only one left.
At this point it becomes something more than its parts – it becomes the “would-u”.

As the “would-u” it seems to gain some magic kudos… It NEVER gets eaten… (well, in its entirety… anyway).

It may get broken in half, but still it is a “would-u”.
It may get its topping removed, but it is still a “would-u”.
It may end up being half of a half of a half, but still as a former shadow of what it and its fellow nibbles were, still the “would-u” remains…

It is my mission and my opening manifesto to the blogging nation to say from this day forth…
All “would-u’s will be, and should be, set free from the plate, and social etiquette.

How to stamp out the “would-u”

If you find yourself at one of these “would-u” moments… (as described above)
You must…first, declare your mission to all those present of your intention to releasing the “would-u” from the party, and the party from the “would-u”…

This is done by a simple declaration to the room…

You must declare to all parties standing by the ‘would-u’ your intention to pounce, this is done by saying these simple words:

” Art thou, the ‘would-u’?”

Then you must reply (giving a few seconds for any other party to intervene):

“I don’t mind if I do…! ”

Then look into the eyes of all those who have been quietly watching the “would-u”, and smile at them, as you eat with divine decadence.

What will or should happen, is people will laugh and suddenly see what you have seen and done… and they will also then begin to see all the “would-u’s in the world.